The DieDie Blog

Welcome back to this retelling of our Christmas vacation. We’re now on day 4 Christmas Eve. During our time of trying to get friends to hang out with us the night before we had arranged to hang out with my friend Ellen after she got out of work at 1pm. So we were all pretty excited for this day.

Our morning started out fairly well. I made a grilled ham and cheese sandwich for both myself and Dustin. Very tasty but unfortunately we had ham almost everyday so it was beginning to get a bit repetitive. My family had somehow ended up with 4 hams so clearly we had to pitch in and try to eat as much as we possibly could. Good thing we don’t eat ham often.

Amelia spent some quality time with my Mum and Dad. She was being completely adorable with them. Talking, walking, jumping around like crazy it was awesome! They seemed to be enjoying her as well. My Dad constantly had this smile on his face when he was holding her which in turn made me smile. My mother even had some memorable moments with her too, making her laugh and run to her. About the only person in the house that didn’t take to Amelia was my sister. Every time my daughter made a noise even if she was happy my sister would instantly grab her head in frustration. Or if Amelia would drool my sister would immediately tell us in a worried tone so that we could avoid getting it on us. But she’s a baby… that’s what babies do. We had to constantly tell Jackie this but it didn’t help. Anything my daughter did would either frustrate or annoy the crap out of Jackie. I guess that’s 14 year old’s for ya.

Eventually it rolled around to the time that Ellen would be coming to get us. So we bundled up Amelia and ourselves and headed out. She took us to a restaurant called Fuddruckers. I hadn’t been there before but Dustin and Ellen had so they were excited to go. We arrived and partook of the awesome food they served. Huge burgers, potato wedges smothered in cheese, and of course a strawberry shake. I was in Heaven! After that we headed over to the closest mall and had a blast.

Let me back track to the week before we came out to Milwaukee. I was at our Medford mall checking out sweaters and figured I’d stop in Victoria’s Secret to scope out some new bras. It was there that I was introduced to what they called the Miraculous Bra. It was a monstrosity. I’m fairly big chested and that thing made me look like Dolly Parton. I didn’t even bother hooking it up in the back. So now fast forward to the mall in Milwaukee. Both Ellen and Dustin insisted that I show them what it looked like with it on. Thank god no one got a picture though. I put it on and showed them with my shirt back on of course. Instantly we were all laughing at how ridiculous it was. My boobs were seriously a good foot out from my chest. Of course the sales lady had to tell me how she could see a visible change to my posture… well yeah, you’re too distracted by boobs to notice anyone slouching.

After our trounce in the ladies store we took a seat in the food court and decided our next move. It was roughly 4pm and the idea of Candy Cane Lane again came to mind. Wouldn’t you know Ellen was all for it! We looked it up and realized that it started at 6pm, but as we walked the drizzling parking lot to her car we noticed it was already getting dark. So I proposed we go there anyway since obviously you can’t shut down streets where people actually live. It turned out to be a good idea. The houses were already lit up and we got to see many houses decked out in their Christmas attire. Dustin was wowed and I was having a blast hanging out with my friend. Amelia was passed out, which was a huge blessing. Since not being at home meant she wasn’t getting as much sleep as normal.

After a good hour of pretty lights we headed over to Ellen’s house for a brief visit with her Mum and brother. Then it was back on the road and back to my parents house. We got there said our goodbyes and checked out what the family was up to. They were fixing dinner and asked if we wanted anything, to which I was still pretty full from lunch so told them to go ahead without us. This time though they stayed within sight. It was already getting into the late evening so Jackie had decided she’d go to bed early. She wanted to be up early for Christmas and who could blame her! Tomorrow would be an exciting day. The rest of us, however, had other plans. My mother, father, Dustin, Amelia and I all stayed up to watch a British comedy series about some priests. It was hilarious! 3 of us decided to start drinking while Dustin watched Amelia. Eventually, she went to sleep and we finished the DVD. Next my parents put in McClintock. And before we knew it, it was 1am in the morning.

So needless to say we didn’t quite wake up as early as we had intended on Christmas. We did get up at 8am though before my parents. Jackie was already waiting for us down in the living room having been up since 6:30am. We asked her when she wanted to wake up my parents and she was generous enough to give them til 9am. They actually ended up waking by themselves. I was excited as not only was it Christmas but it was also time for breakfast which consisted of Herbie Sausage Rolls. Delicious! After we had everyone awake and primed for presents, Jackie and I set about dividing up the stash under the tree. A good chunk of it was hers, no surprise there. We had to hurry up and get through as many of the presents as we could. We had a webcam appointment at 10:30am with my family in England. Present upon present was opened and we all scored some really nice gifts. Even Dustin got a fancy new watch from my family, much to my surprise. It was, however, fast approaching 10:30 and we still had a lot of English presents to go through. So we skipped over the domestic ones and just focused solely on them. Piles full of chocolate and clothes later we had succeeded!

The webcam was an awesome way for everyone to see each other. My Uncle, Aunt, and Grandmother were all introduced to Dustin and Amelia. And of course he to them. We all had a turn talking to them and seeing them in real time while trying to dart around and get everyone in the picture. Though my grandmother needed a little help with the phone as she was at first talking into the wrong end.

We usually have our Christmas dinner in the afternoon so my mother set about getting everything ready. Before we knew it we had an awesome table of turkey, ham, roast potatoes, peas and carrots, and stuffing ready to devour! It was awesome! My mother had cooked the turkey in a slow cooker and it had come out perfect! Next to our plates we had an English tradition of crackers. Amelia was being passed back and forth between Dustin and I so we could eat food at the table. Amelia had taken a liking to the shiny paper the crackers were wrapped in and proceeded to attempt to eat one side. We interrupted her and gave her a piece of carrot to munch on. She loved it! But unfortunately if disgusted my sister so much that she refused to eat her own carrots. Teenagers I swear! So after we had eaten our food we pulled our crackers and played with the toys. A pretty good Christmas dinner if I do say so myself.

We wrapped that up in time for one of my Dad’s friends to come over. He got to meet Amelia and Dustin and catch up on events with my family. He was also kind enough to give us a ride over to my best friends house. After a good 20 minutes of getting lost, apparently I had forgotten how to get there, we found where we were supposed to go and arrived at Joe’s house. Now Joe and Dustin’s friend Matt have the same timber voice and both also have bushy chin beards. Amelia is afraid of Matt and wouldn’t ya know she was afraid of Joe as well. It took her a bit to warm up to him and as we sat on the couch she kept casting curious yet pouty looks at him. It was pretty cute. Eventually she warmed up to him. We had a good time together. Went out to eat played a game called Munckin. It was almost like old times. We had to leave though as it started snowing and I didn’t want to have my Mum come out to get us in a storm. Luckily, the snow wasn’t too bad and she didn’t have any trouble getting to us and then heading home.

Once home, Dad was watching one of the DVD’s I’d gotten him for Christmas and Jackie was playing on her laptop. Once we settled in from being out and about I suggested we set up the Wii and show them how to play. My suggestion went ignored. Ah well, I thought. I still have tomorrow before we head out to the airport. So I decided to start taking things up to our room to pack. We had a lot of presents to try and squeeze into our suitcases. Unfortunately, it turned out that we didn’t have enough room for everything. So my Mum and Dad were awesome enough to suggest that they could ship it to us. That worked out rather well considering the two presents I had shipped to their house for Dustin hadn’t arrived yet. The night wound down and we retired to bed.

The last day of our trip came about and after breakfast I decided to ask again if they wanted to hook up the Wii. My mother responded with a no and stated that they would be able to figure it out. Wow… really? This is the last day here and some good ole family fun might have been a nice way to end it. Or even show that getting something they wanted was actually appreciated in anyway. Instead I’m barraged with how much better her gift was for Dad. I didn’t know that Christmas was a competition. I thought it was about the awesome family time and the look on people’s faces when they open their gifts. Not so much about the constant bragging. Not to mention Dustin told me later on about something Jackie had said to Jerry, Dad’s friend that stopped over. I had asked my Mum what she wanted for Christmas a month back and she’d stated she needed a new eco watch. Apparently she had told the same thing to my Dad and Jackie so we both ended up getting her an eco watch for Christmas. They looked completely different though so at least she has options for different occasions if she wanted. So, Mum had been telling Jerry that she had gotten two, and Jackie piped up saying that of course they knew which one she’d wear in a matter of fact tone. To me that sounds like she was saying hers was better. Again with the competition? I don’t know about you, but that stuff really really pisses me off. It’s not a damn competition. And how friggen rude is that? Ugh!

So after being rejected again for the umptenth time to do anything with my family barring watching TV and playing cards, I headed up to make sure we had everything packed and ready to go. The ride to the airport was pretty much quiet. We said our goodbyes and headed out to catch our flight.

When we got back to Portland we ended up having breakfast over at the Halls the next morning. Dustin began to relay some of the things that had happened from his point of view. So pretty much the same version as you see here. I looked on over his family and extended family and felt a surge of emotion. Having experienced the disjointed life that is now my parents world, it hurts to know that it’s not what I want in a family. I used to remember when I was little that we’d go over to other people’s houses, we’d do things, and have fun. I’m not sure when that all changed. When they became so reclusive. I do know that I like having a big family. I like having get togethers. I like constantly doing something or having something going on in my life. And to watch the people around me doing just that and smiling and joking and not being so self absorbed I had to choke back a few tears. That’s what I wanted to experience with my family.

Yes I had some good times. I also had some bad times too. But it can’t be said that the effort was not made. At least once a day we’d ask if anything was going on or if we could all play a game. Anything to get them involved with us. And it would always be the same response prompting us to find friends to hang out with. It’s kinda funny in a sad way. I remember telling my mother I was pregnant and Dustin was the father which sparked her angry notion that she had no idea who Dustin was, even though I’d been talking about him for the past few months. Yet here they had the opportunity to get to know him better and only one person asked anything about him and that was Jerry. The one time that he was left alone with my mother he tried to tell her things about himself but they were just brushed aside with her story about her job. Ah well, least he tried right?

I don’t really know what I was expecting. I’m glad they got along so well with my daughter. I’m hoping that they can come out here next time. As I’m not a fan of Milwaukee and I really really don’t want to go back. They say it’s easier for us to get out to them what with them trying to juggle time off at their jobs. But honestly it isn’t. We both work in the same department and it was a miracle we could get the time off together. Plus a baby on airplanes is never really an easy thing to deal with. Oh Amelia was such a great kid and could have been a lot worse, but it’s not just her, it’s all the gear we have to carry along as well. I hope they come out so I can show them how beautiful it is out here. But I honestly don’t hold out much hope.

This year I decided to go to my parents house for Christmas. With the birth of my daughter I figured it would be an awesome way for them to meet her and her father for the first time. I was pretty stoked about it. I hadn’t seen them for 2 years ever since I left Milwaukee, Wisconsin to come to Oregon. “How was it?” You ask with good Christmas cheer…. “BAH! HUMBUG!” I reply with utter disdain. It was incredibly awkward. And that’s putting it mildly. Let me of course start at the beginning.

We arrived after two plane flights in the cold frigid city of Milwaukee at roughly 11pm. My family was waiting for us at the terminal and consisted of my mother, father and 14 year old sister. We hugged clearly happy to see each other and I introduced them to Dustin and Amelia. So far pretty straight forward. They had taken two cars to get us so that we’d have room enough for 2 large suitcases and a stroller. Dustin, Amelia and I also ended up being split between the cars. Dustin with my Dad, me and Amelia with my mother and sister. We all made it way out to their house in Racine, unloaded the car and proceeded to settle in for the night.

It was 12am central time. But being from Oregon we were still 2 hours behind and still wide awake. After we got Amelia settled I asked my mother for the password to her wireless network so I could hop online, check my email and get some entertainment while Dustin and I were up. My mothers response was that it was a secure network and we could wait til the morning to check our email. I wasn’t quite sure what the point of telling us it was a secure network was all about. Plus it was way that she said it that bothered me the most. It was spoken in a condescending sort of tone. What could we have possibly done to her “secure network” that would compromise it? This would be the first of many infuriating situations. We ended up just going to bed.

The next day was the official hang out with the family time. I had mentioned going to Candy Cane Lane which is an awesome set of about 5 streets that get together and put up amazing Christmas displays. It’s all done for charity so you can donate or not, your choice. I thought it would be a nice way for the family to do something together and also show Dustin a little of Milwaukee. My suggestion was greeted with groans and ho hums. No one wanted to leave the sanctuary of their home. I was disappointed but not deterred. I had some time set up with my friend Swampy to hang out with him. So he came by and we were able to get out of the house for a bit. He took us to George Webbs and I got to introduce Dustin to their good cheap food. Swampy was also nice enough to let us stop at the store to pick up the last Christmas gift I had for my family, a Wii. After that we took a tour of the city, ran by the lake front and explored the super rich houses around it.

We came back after being out for several hours and we were feeling pretty good. It was a productive day. Then dinner came around. My mother was cool enough to have some ham, potatoes and vegetables ready for us and set up on the dining room table. Now how Dustin and I usually do dinner situations is one of us eats first while the other hangs with Amelia. Then we switch. I went first this time. As I got into the dining room I notice that there are only 2 plates set. Everyone else has disappeared. This is our first official day here and my family couldn’t even be bothered to have dinner with us. I was hurt. Dustin came in and wondered where everyone had run off to just as my Dad came up from his den in the basement. He asked us why we were sitting in the dark eating dinner. It was how it had been left for us and granted wasn’t completely dark we had a decent lighting from the attached kitchen and I hadn’t thought much of turning on a light. I was more upset about eating alone. So I piped up to my Dad, “Apparently, no one wants to eat with us.” My Dad kindly explained that this is how it always is, Jackie disappears upstairs to watch her favorite tv show and my mother wanted to watch the news.

Ok fine, I get that people have routines. But I don’t think it would have killed them to have dinner with us on the first day. When you have people staying with you, you should give certain considerations to them as well as your own routines. Clearly you aren’t going to be able to do everything the same as you had before. So why not be a friggen family and eat dinner together. BAH!!

So after dinner we twiddled our thumbs and wondered what to do. I decided to go up to my sisters room and see if she wanted to play any games with us. Her response, “No, I can’t. I have to do dishes.” So of course I inquire as to what about afterwards? “Um, I have to check my email. We’ll do something tomorrow.” …Seriously? I haven’t been home in 2 years and you suddenly don’t have time to do anything? Dishes and checking your email is more important? Alright, I’ll take that we’ll do something tomorrow and leave it at that. I was disappointed again. So Dustin, Amelia and I ended up in our room on the internet and playing with stuffed toys. Ah yes, we had gotten permission to use the internet in the morning. Suddenly it was no longer an issue…thank goodness. I don’t know what we would have done without the sweet delicious web.

Day 3. We were stuck in the house ALL day. We couldn’t use my parents cars. So we desperately sort interaction of some kind. To no avail. Finally after failing to find anyone of my friends that could hang out with us, we went downstairs to see what the family was up to. After watching them disappear again in the morning I didn’t have much hope, but I was wrong. My mother and sister were playing a British card game called Black Jack. It’s kinda like Uno but with regular playing cards. So I sat down and joined in. It was pretty fun, Jackie was picking it up fairly quickly but she kept throwing out random phrases that I could only assume came from the tv show she loved to watch. “Ya’ll be breezy!” She’d said. Mum and I were both like.. “what?” So she’d repeat it again. I could only respond with what my generation would probably have translated that into, “You be cool too!” I think Samuel L. Jackson would have been proud though slightly disappointed with the lack of explicit language at the end.

We continued to play with my mother kicking our asses most of the time. But it was pretty fun. Dustin had disappeared downstairs to the den with my Dad and I believe they had a good time too. So Wednesday wasn’t a complete waste. Afterward Dustin, Amelia and I went downstairs to watch the Dark Knight with my Dad. He thought it was pretty good. And so we put in his bootlegged copy of Star Trek. Around this time I noticed Dustin’s wide eyed expression. The walls, you see, were closing in on him.  The movie helped a bit but as all bootlegs are want to do, this one had it’s flaws. It was almost like we were in the Lost show. We would be at a particularly crucial part of the movie and then a static bar would flick across the screen causing the dvd to skip right over the whole rather important story part. This happened from half way into the movie all the way to the very end. It was pretty frustrating to people who’ve seen the movie and know which big pieces were missing. And all the while an excited Dustin would yell, “Oh my gooses! We should just go out and get the real movie right now so you can see what your missing.” Clearly a plea to get out of the house. But it was a fruitless effort, my father was content with his bootleg and would get the movie later. We had at least successfully killed a good 5 hours though.

To wrap up this day that seemed to drag on forever we decided to bundle Amelia up and go for a walk around the neighborhood. Snow was lightly falling and it was chilly, but overall it was a decent night. So I figured I’d ask my sister if she wanted to tag along with us. No and No. Pissed off was I. But we went anyway, even if my family didn’t want to see Candy Cane Lane, we could at least see some of the decorations around the surrounding streets. Upon our journey we realized just how far away we were from anything. It was all suburban houses with a lonely gas station on the main street. Oh joy. Nothing really in walking distance. We did get to see some pretty lights though. And the fresh air was nice. Eventually though we had to make our way back to the house. Our evening ended with internet again.

So thrilling yes?! Yeah exactly. The next couple of days are bitter sweet. They had their ups and downs, but I’m going to leave that for a later post. For tonight I have just gotten home from our grand vacation and I need to get some sleep for work tomorrow. See you guys tomorrow where hopefully I can wrap up this exciting adventure.

Mmmmmm! So it has occurred to me that I have a category I have neglected. The Cooking Category!! So to remedy this I’ve decided to share with you a relatively simple, healthy yet tasty recipe I concocted. The Turkey Quesadilla.

Turkey Quesadilla

Ingredients:
1 lb turkey meat
1 green pepper (diced)
1 red pepper (diced)
1/4 cup of onion (diced)
1 cup cheese (grated)
2 tbsp Salsa (optional)
Chili Powder (season to taste)
Black Pepper (season to taste)
Hot Sauce (season to taste)
Adobo (season to taste)
2 packets Sazon
2 tortillas (flour, wheat, corn whatever your preference)

Brown your turkey meat and toss in the onion. Once the turkey is browned or grayed as turkey meat tends to turn, start to add in your seasoning: chili pepper, black pepper, hot sauce, sazon and adobo. Season to taste. You want to make it spicy enough for your palate. So if you like it relatively spicy add more chili powder, pepper, and hot sauce.

After you’ve got your seasoning the way you like it, toss in the red and green pepper. You want the peppers cooked enough so that they are still crunchy. So no more than a couple of minutes in the pan. Alright the mix is done! Now here comes the tricky bit.

In a separate frying pan place your first tortilla shell. Sprinkle the grated cheese over the top enough to cover it, but don’t over do it as you want to save some cheese for your top layer as well. This serves as the gooey tasty glue that will hold your tortillas together when you flip them. Once the cheese is on add your mixture and spread over the tortilla starting in the middle and working your way out. You want to flatten the meat after it’s spread and make sure it’s evenly distributed. Ok you can now add in some salsa but don’t over do it. Spread a light layer over the meat and then seal the deal with cheese and the 2nd tortilla. Turn the heat on low and be sure to monitor the bottom tortilla shell.

I have to use two spatulas here as its pretty heavy at this point. You can check the underside out fairly easily with the spatula and when it’s that nice golden brown color it’s time to flip it over. Insert one spatula on one side and the other on the opposite. It helps if you have a nice wide metal spatula to get under most of the quesadilla. Either way good luck! Flip it and heat up the other side and then bam! Your done. Nice tasty and relatively quick quesadilla. Enjoy!

How to tell a graphic designer their site needs work.

Let me preface this with a disclaimer: This is a humorous post. Don’t get mad as the references I am making are most likely about you. =p

“Check out my awesome site!” Says one graphic designer to another. All a flutter with expectation the second designer takes a look and with a few simple words creates the feud of a century. “What the fuck is that?” Lines are suddenly drawn in the cubical isles. The air crackles with heated glares until finally the graphic designer war begins. “Simple and clean!” Yells the first. “Shiny and futuristic!” Screams the second. And then off in the corner a well meaning but completely clueless designer jumps up and declares, “STAR BURSTS!!!” A hush falls over the combatants and all eyes turn to that lone soul who now quivers with fear. Ah yes, it’s 8am on a Monday morning. Do you know where your designers are?

While not all graphic designer conflicts can be as cool as ours, it does pose that interesting question of how do you tell someone you don’t like their site? Especially if you are both designers? Clearly everyone has their own personal styles and it can be pretty hard to take advice. But it’s also equally hard to give advice and not feel as though you are stepping on everyone’s toes. So here’s a couple of tips I like to use myself.

The Butter Up
Not everything has to be a conflict or an automatic dislike. The site could have a lot of merit but just lack a few key items that might make it pop. The key here is to mention the artists previous designs and why you may have liked them more than this current endeavor. Using the word “spoiled” is also highly recommended. IE: “To be honest, I liked your last site better. It had an amazing wow factor! I guess you’ve just spoiled me with that one.” Instant butter makes everything smooth.

Lets Just Tweak It
The goal of “Lets just tweak it” is to slowly nick-pick away at things until it’s what you wanted it to be in the first place. Sometimes this creates an entirely different end product than the original. This is known as the Behind The Back Tweaksies. Very dangerous if left in the wrong hands. IE: “You know, what if we moved this phrase here and then moved that image over to the left a bit. Good good. Now lets just flip this over here and that right there and bam! Look at that beautiful BMW site.” Original Designer, ” Wait, what? My site was about Narwhals!!”

Friggen Leave It Alone
This is one of the greatest tools yet often the least used. It’s not your design so friggen leave it alone! Sometimes you just have to back off and realize that not everyone can be as awesome as you and therefore must be left to fend for themselves. There are hundreds even thousands of websites out there and chances are there will always be ones that will make you cringe and attempt to suppress the inevitable gag reflex. Chances are also that you probably aren’t looking at one of those, you nick picking, smart mouthed graphic designer nerf herder! Yeah I said it.

So that’s my insider view on how to handle these types of situations. Sometimes you might need some good ole butter, other days you may need the tweaksies, but more than likely you should always use the leave it alone card.

I consider myself to be a rather big vampire buff. I have read all of Anne Rice’s vampire novels. I have written a few vampire characters based off of White Wolf’s Vampire: The Masquerade. And I have played all but the very first Legacy of Kain video games. Not to mention the large amount of vampire movies I have seen, both good and bad. So when I saw a trailer of the first Twilight movie I was intrigued. I went to see it and my face drew up in a half sneer throughout the majority of the movie. I joined the mass of Twilight haters.

“These are not vampires!” I squealed with outrage. “These are sparkly emo fools!” I was pissed off to say the least. I had submerged myself in a world where vampires were cold, calculating killers. Where their years of immortality had molded them into wise and patient hunters. Intelligent yet ruthless individuals who could move humans around like pawns on a chessboard. They would only come out at night as the sun would surely make them…. sparkle??? Maybe it’s just me, but if I saw someone walk out into the sunlight and suddenly start to glitter the first thought through my head would not be “Omgooses! A vampire!” No, it would be more along the lines of this, “Whoa! That guy’s obviously coming out of the closet with some flare. You go girlfriend!”

So that was my general feelings towards the Twilight movie. Now I look around and see the hysteria taking the teenage and not so teenage masses by storm with the release of Twilight 2 New Moon all over again. It’s been interesting to see the rivalries that have come up in this new craze. I’m a big fan of the site My Life Is Average and since the Twilight Fever struck I’ve read snickering comments arise from the Harry Potter section. Stories are told of sordid glares between fan groups and infiltrators on both sides. It’s rather amusing to say the least. I feel like I’m witnessing a Geek Face Off with me giggling in the corner quoting Nicholas Cage, “I want to take his glitter…..off” complete with a glitter taking off hand gesture.

It got me thinking about how silly the rivalry is though. Two sides of the same coin. So where do I stand now? Yes I dislike the Twilight Saga but I’m sure way back when Interview With A Vampire came out it was the same sort of craze. At least I’m thankful that the masses are latching on to vampires again instead of some teeny pop star slut. I’m still sad that the vampires in this movie were just as feeble as the vampires say in Underworld. Ooh we have shiny guns pew pew pew! Unless we’re 1000 years old then we might have some strength. Bah!! I caught myself actually rooting for the Lycans in that one.

And that brings me to the other vampire movies.

The Blade Trinity: I liked the first one til the very end. Explody vampire bubble boy just didn’t do it for me as a conclusion. The second one however, will always be my personal favorite. There was the Elder intrigue, they didn’t sit around and whine about who they could or could not date. No! They had a plan! Lets get together and figure out how to make our race invulnerable! And then experiment! Yes!! That’s how I envision my vampires to act. The third one? Ugh.. seriously? That was Dracula? Some Predator looking guy without the skills? Why would he be running around leading Blade on with a friggen baby? Yeah, I could go on and on about the travesties in that one.

30 Days of Night: I avoided this one at all costs. I had heard some rumors that it was just a bad gore fest vampire film. I’m not really fond of those movies that portray vampires with no mental prowess and just blood thirsty animals.. yes John Carpenter I’m talking to you. So I did not see this in theaters. I had forgotten about it til one of my good friends said it was actually pretty good. What the hell I thought lets give it a go. OMGOOSES! I had seriously underestimated this movie. It was vicious and gory yes, but it was also filled with vampires that had a calculated plan. They knew what they were doing and it worked beautifully! I will rename this 30 Days of Awesome.

There are more that I could go on and on about. So I will just give a few more blurts to the ones I liked. Shadow of a Vampire was unique as it was creepy. Willem Dafoe is excellent in this movie. Underworld 3 Rise of the Lycans is much much better than the previous 2. Interview With A Vampire is still by far one of my favorites and even though I hated how they butchered Anne’s book Queen of the Damned, the soundtrack for that movie was amazing. I’m working on watching another vampire flick called Let the Right One In. Unfortunately it’s subtitled and while I don’t mind reading subtitles at all, its rather difficult to do with a 4 month old. Lets not forget the classics though, Nosferatu and Dracula both awesome by all accounts. But those are the standard horror vamps. I prefer my free thinking devious blood suckers any day.

So lets recap and pull this full circle back to the Twilight Craze. It’s all about a seemingly hot elf like vampire that struggles to be a vegetarian and deal with his dating woes. Sparkles or no it has successfully divided people into rooting for either the vampire side or the wolf boy side. I’ve been told they aren’t actually lycans but spirit wolves or something? Whatever they will be deemed lycans to me. So we have three giant factions Vampires, Lycans, and Harry Potter. I don’t know about you guys but I deem this a win for geeks everywhere.

P.S. Lestat would still kick the shit out of all of them!

So last week I went into great detail about my experiences with pregnancy horror stories. This week I intend to discuss those little strange things that happen that you don’t normally hear about. I’m sure it may have been secretly stashed away in some random pregnancy guide, but alas I did not see it.

Nose Bleeds: I’m the type of person that has never really had nose bleeds. Maybe once or twice if the air has become too stuffy. So imagine my surprise when I go to blow my nose in the morning and I’m instantly greeted with a tissue full of blood. Now clearly I’m not freaked out by the sticky red liquid as obviously I’m a woman. But to have it come out of my nose and continue to come out of my nose was a bit disturbing. This didn’t just happen once, but multiple times during my pregnancy. The culprit? Hormones.

Pelvic Popping: As the months progressed I began to notice a strange phenomenon. Whenever I would turn over in the bed at night, my pelvic bone would pop loudly and painfully. For only lasting a second it was definitely a rude way to wake up. I found myself trying different ways to avoid that bone crunching gasp, but it was no good. Even if I turned very very slowly it still ended up popping at the end of my flip. I finally found that having a gigantic pillow between my legs helped a bit. But overall it was with me til birth. The culprit? Hormones.

Cravings: It is entirely possible to not have weird cravings. I’d watched the crazy romantic comedies where the husband is running away from a screaming pregnant chick to get her ice cream and pickles, but I never actually experienced that myself. Thankfully neither did Dustin. There was one thing that I wanted a lot of and that was fries. Nice salty McDonalds fries. But, I love fries any day of the week so just because I wanted them and could now get them on a constant basis doesn’t convince me that they were real cravings. I had been accused by some gleeful work ladies of having cravings because of my cucumber and cheese sandwiches. But I was sorry to disappoint them with the fact that I’ve been eating those kind of sandwiches for years. Maybe it was that strange diet that prevented me from having the dreaded pickles and ice cream curse.

Water Breaking: I am so glad that this happened when I was at home. If my water had of broke while I was at work I would have been devastated. It is not as mild as the movies would have you believe. What To Expect stated this: “By now you’ve no doubt lost a night or two’s sleep over when and where your water (your amniotic sac) will break — because you’ve heard (or seen on TV) one or two horror stories about a pregnant woman’s water breaking in an inconvenient (no, make that humiliating) time and place (like in the middle of a busy sidewalk at lunch hour, or at a jam-packed mall on a Saturday morning).  But your reality show will probably be a little different. First, because fewer than 15 percent of women experience a rupture of the membranes before labor begins, and, second, because if your water does break in public, it’s less likely to come as a torrential tidal wave, and more likely to come as a slow leak, a trickle, or a small gush.”

I have highlighted the last description for a reason. I was fortunate to have my water break at home. It was very convenient as at about 1am I got up to go to the bathroom. I pee and then splash! I hear a bunch of water hit the toilet bowl. Awesome! I thought. My water couldn’t have had better timing! I was quite smug about the whole thing, even breathed a sigh that it wasn’t at work.  So we pack up and away we go to the hospital. When we get there I explain to the nurse that my water had broke. She escorts us into the exam room. I change into the awesome hospital gown while she goes and gets a few things she needs. Apparently nurses don’t really believe you when you tell them your water has broken. So in order to convince them, my body decided to do something unexpected. I was sitting on the end of the exam table when all of a sudden fluid began to pour out of me. I instantly stood up in reaction and flooded the floor with yellowish liquid. OMGOOSES! I thought something was wrong because to me I’d already had my water break and it was the mild “small gush” What to Expect had described. This stuff also wasn’t clear as to me that’s what I was expecting with “water breaking”. So what the fuck was this?? The nurse returns and sees whats happened and says, “Oh yeah clearly your water broke.” Thank you Captain Obvious. It turned out to be normal but definitely wasn’t “What To Expect.”

There are tons of pregnancy websites out there that do a great job informing you about the pitfalls of being pregnant. Whattoexpect.com did an awesome job for me. Just keep in mind that you may experience some things they don’t cover. As long as you and your doctor are aware of them it should be no problem. So if you’ve experienced or are experiencing some of the same things I did, feel safe in the comfort that you aren’t alone.

Let’s face it. We’ve all heard the crazy horror stories that practically every mother goes through while being pregnant. I’ve heard tales of 3 month early babies, excruciating back pain, inappropriately timed morning sickness, 30 + hours in labor, and just about everything in between. So I just want to say that I’m thankful that I turned out to have one of those rare normal pregnancies.

To all those women who told me their crazy stories I appreciate it, but you guys suck! This was my first pregnancy and while I know you were trying to help, scaring the crap out of an impending mother pumped full of hormones is not cool. After every story I’d look down at my round belly and whimper. Silently sending thoughts to my little one with pleas of “Please don’t hurt me!” I’d cringe at every sordid detail until I realized that I wasn’t going through any of that.

I’m going to go through a list of Scare Tactics vs DieDie Facts for my pregnancy.

Scare Tactic: Morning sickness will make it almost impossible for you to function.

DieDie’s Fact: I did not get morning sickness to the extent of praying to the Porcelain Goddess every morning. I did, however, feel nauseous at night resulting in some early bedtimes for me. That meant hitting the hay at 10pm rather than 12am. It also meant forgoing sex which was the biggest downer. The good news was that it didn’t last very long. I was done right on cue with 12 weeks, the normal time morning sickness wears off.

Scare Tactic: The extra baby weight will prevent you from doing a lot of activities.

DieDie’s Fact: One of the biggest compliments I kept receiving was how well I was holding up. I was still going on our walk breaks at work. We took them every day at 10am and 3pm with an occasional lunch walk thrown in. The mothers at work seemed amazed that I was able to do this and sited their own stories of being too tired to do anything except relax on the couch. Say what? I know I’ve gained a lot of weight before I was pregnant, but to just lay around when I was perfectly capable of walking somewhere or doing something seemed outlandish to me. I kept going on walks til about my 9th month. It was July and hot as hell outside which is what made it difficult for me to keep going.

Scare Tactic: Get ready for the most intense pain of your life! Labor for 30 + hours and beyond!

DieDie’s Fact: Hmm I’m on the fence with this one. I have a pretty high tolerance to pain. I don’t know what other women would consider intense pain. I do know that I started having contractions on Sunday July 19th at around 12pm in the afternoon. They were the confusing kind that were erratic and not falling into any particular rhythm. So as a newbie to this pregnancy business I dismissed them as false labor. They didn’t hurt and felt like mild menstrual cramps. The day wore on and they’d dissipate for a bit and then return. Still didn’t think anything of it until 1am when my water broke.

I’d like to say the contractions got worse. To an extent they did, but they weren’t unbearable by any means. I’m not sure if mine were just mild or if I’m just a super chick. I’d like to believe the latter. So after 24 hours of labor pains I shrugged and asked for the epidural. I figured we might as well hook that up in case things do get intense. I didn’t want to be in a situation where I’m in the pushing position and in dire need of medication only to be told it was too late. The epidural just so happened to be a good idea as you’ll see next.

Scare Tactics: Vaginal tearing with a big baby.

DieDie’s Fact: My baby was an 8 pounder and one of the worries of my doctor was she’d have to be delivered through a c-section if she got too big. That option had been given to me, but it was not something I wanted to go through. Everything was looking good for a vaginal birth though. So the fear of having my sensitive girl parts ripped open was a very real possibility to me. But it didn’t turn out that way. After many hours in labor my body decided to stop dilating. I was stalled out at 5 centimeters. The nurses even tried to give me a high dosage of Pitocen, a drug that induces dilation, but to no avail. After many more hours of waiting and still being stuck at 5 centimeters it was decided that a c-section was necessary. This was about 8pm on July 20th.

Scare Tactic: Having a c-section is scary stuff.

DieDie’s Fact: I agree with this one. Here’s where that epidural decision came in handy. In order to do the c-section they had to pump me full of drugs injected directly into my spine. This would help deaden the feeling to my lower body. The epidural was already in place so all they had to do was inject the drugs and we were good to go. Anxiety and fear were my buddies here as a c-section was the last thing I wanted. As scary as a vaginal birth sounded, a surgery where they cut me open seemed a hell of a lot worse. Thankfully, Dustin was with me the entire time. He kept me calm and it was over in less than 20 minutes. Easy peasy!

However, a c-section is no joke. They deaden the area where they are cutting, but you can still feel them tugging on your insides. There was no pain, but more of a perceived horror at knowing someone had you laid open for all to see. And Dustin did apparently see. Sorry babe. =(

After the surgery my meds began to wear off. I couldn’t hold my baby right away because this wave of intense pain began to emanate from where I’d been cut. I can only describe it as a burning sensation. So while I survived the labor pains I had to grit my teeth against this aggression. I summoned every ounce of my awesome pain dealing abilities and battled with the fire as my nurse kept pumping me full of medications. Morphine wasn’t working and it finally took a cocktail of drugs to quiet the beast. But I survived, I worked through it and my nurses took excellent care of me. After the pain was under control I was able to hold my little girl.

Scare Tactic: If you have a c-section your going to be on bed rest for a while.

DieDie’s Fact: I think both ways of delivery have their complications. Factors depending on your mental stubbornness and physical condition probably have more to do with it than just the surgery alone. Yes it sucked but I didn’t let it control my life. I had to take it easy as would anyone having gone through the birthing process. I was armed with pain killers and IB-Profen which after 9 months of only Tylenol was a blessing.

Getting around had it’s challenges. I had to slide off the couch and bed in a rather amusing snake like fashion as to avoid pulling my staples. At times I would be stubborn and refuse to take my pain killers muttering hostilities at them such as, “I don’t need no stinkin meds!” Only to crawl back 4 hours later with whimpering apologies because I had turned too fast and pulled my incision. I’m sure those who delivered via vaginal birth didn’t have to worry about those situations. But from reading various forums I can say I was back to having sex way sooner than those vaginal mommas. Score one for the c-section. Plus I also didn’t have to worry about a baby with a squished head. She was perfect when she came out. Score two!

That’s my review of the many fun things other mothers can tell you.

To sum it up I’m glad I had a normal birth. Sure I had some complications but nothing to really freak out about. I had a good support structure with my honey Dustin and managed to pull out of it without any trouble. To those that don’t have it as easy as I did, hang in there. Remember that in a few months you’ll have a pure bundle of joy to take away all the pain you went through. You know it’s worth it. But as your retelling your tale to a new expectant momma keep in mind that you might be scaring the crap out of her for no reason. It’s good to be prepared but chances are she’s probably already read everything she can get her hands on about the whole process. So be supportive and offer advice when it’s requested. Remember us gals can handle a hell of a lot more than we give ourselves credit for.

I had never really thought too much about schedules before Amelia was born. I was generally spontaneous and did what ever idea popped into my head. From running off to clothing optional spas in the middle of the night to staying up playing video games til 4am. To an extent I still do that. Parenting hasn’t changed me too much. BUT! My daughter’s schedule is a different story.

I’ve recently become rather protective of her sleeping and eating patterns. From my Florida Mum’s visit and others I’ve found that new people excite my daughter. So much so that it distracts her from her normal sleeping schedules. It’s difficult for her to go to sleep because she wants to participate and interact with what’s going on. Plus with her being so incredibly adorable it ads to the excitement of the people around her. She’s constantly being passed around.

Now on the one hand this is a good thing. I want her to be acclimatised to a variety of people so that when we go out she won’t be upset. So far I think we’ve done a good job on that. But on the other hand if it interferes with her schedule then that’s where things start to get complicated. She’s a bear when she misses her nap times and it becomes a fight just to get her to close her eyes.

So in order to try and starve off these crazy times, we’ve been sticking to a constant schedule. It goes as follows:

7:30am – 8:30am – She wakes up and gets her breakfast. She’s generally only up for about 45 minutes to an hour. From there on she takes a nap anywhere between 3-5 hours.

11am – 12pm – She’s up from her morning nap and ready for some lunch. We play around on her play mat and try to get some tummy time in. She’s normally awake for about 2-3 hours at this point until she tires herself out.

She takes a small afternoon nap for about an hour or two. By that time it’s 5pm and she’s usually awake to greet her Daddy when he gets home. For the evenings she’s up the longest period of time. She gets some dinner and then sleeps for a few minutes around 8pm.

10pm – 11pm – This is her normal bedtime schedule. We give her a bottle and swaddle her and she’s pretty good about falling asleep. Sometimes she sleeps through the night and other times she’ll be up at 4am for some food and then back to sleep she’ll go.

Overall this is what we try to stick to. I’m not going to lie, however, there have been times when I’m working that I let her take longer than usual naps. I figure her body is obviously needing the extra rest and I need the extra time. Most times this doesn’t backfire on me, but it has in a couple of situations when we’ve had plans later on in the day. It can sometimes throw her schedule off and cause her to fall asleep much later than normal. I’ve since learned to try and work around that.

Bedtime Crasher will mess you up if you screw with the baby's schedule!

As parents we’ve learned that Spock is wrong. The needs of the many do not outweigh the needs of the little one. While we have developed the necessary skills to handle her cries, we’d rather do what we can to avoid that situation in the first place. So if you’re ever over at my place and you get the Momma’s Look of Death: Sit Down, Shut Up and wait til she falls asleep. After that you can be as obnoxious as you want, she sleeps like a rock.

Borderlands for the Xbox 360 is absolutely awesome! If it’s not the very addictive opening song that gets you, it’s bound to be the addition of loot drops to an FPS. Now, usually I’m not a big fan of first person shooters, but I’ve been finding myself drawn to them more and more lately. Perhaps it’s because I dig playing co-op with Dustin. And well after a semi frustrating day of a cranky baby and work, shooting people in the head in a video game seems like the perfect remedy.

Upon my first few minutes of game play I came to realize my true weakness. Glorious loot drops. As a previous hardcore WoW addict I appreciate the familiarity of a tiered loot system. It gives me the satisfaction and not to mention giddiness of running after a brightly colored item just to see it’s stats. Comparing weapon damage, accuracy rates, special effects Squee! I’m in heaven! I think that’s the biggest draw for me.

As far as I can tell the story is this. There are four of you and you’ve been raised on stories about a mysterious vault on the planet Pandora. This vault is legendary and contains jewels and wealth beyond imagination. You’ve just arrived and been dropped off at the starter town of Fyrestone. Your mission? To find the vault of course! But the scattered townsfolk of about 2 need to be won over. So your mission starts with earning the trust of the locals.

So far I’ve worked my way up to level 17. Dustin and I play on co-op mode. I’ve taken the Siren character who has a neat special ability of invisibility. She enters into it with a shockwave of electricity that damages surrounding enemies. From there you can run up to an opponent and wait for the effect to wear off (about 10 secs) or you can melee them. Upon exit of the invisibility mode another shockwave smacks attackers again. Her special ability was kind of lame at first, but as you gain levels you’re able to put points into WoW style talent trees. I can now ninja up to enemies and slap them with a corrosive touch! Oh and I got my first artifact which has now turned my shockwave into a firewave of doom!

Dustin chose the wicked cool Sniper Dude. I’ll admit I was half tempted to choose him myself after the opening scene and his fancy blade spinning stunt. Not to mention he just looks cool. With this character you are proficient in snipers, obviously, but you have the option of swapping out to various weapons. There are pistols, shotguns, sub machine guns, snipers, rifles, bazookas and revolvers. It’s all a matter of preference, though the descriptions in the starting scene tell you what your character is more favorable to. The sniper dude’s special ability sends out a hawk called Bloodwing to attack nearby enemies. I’m sure he gets better with added points and levels too, but Dustin’s the expert on him.

Other than those there are two other playable characters. The soldier and Brick. I haven’t played Brick yet. I’ve been playing as the soldier, whom I’ve affectionately named Dozer, while Dustin’s off doing other things. Now this character I liked right off the bat. He’s big, he’s bad and he has a friggen turret gun! That’s his special ability. For some reason Dozer makes me feel like an actual bulldozer. I forgo the silly need for hiding behind chest high debris and instead run up all bad ass like and BAM! Shotgun to the face! He’s certainly more durable than my main chick.

Besides the loot and the action, the actual look of the game draws you in. It’s a tumbleweed cross between an old western and the Thunderdome. You have your dusty deserts, your dune buggies, creepy dogs called Skags and of course your gun totting bandits. The characters are somewhat cartoonish but not in that Saturday morning sort of way. It’s more like a graphic novel drawing. The details are rugged and have an gritty feel to them. They fit rather well in the background cgi.

What about flaws you say! Well now every game has it’s flaws and Borderlands is no exception. Co-op mode has my biggest gripe. It of course splits the screens so you can duel play, but in doing so it makes the pop up information grid when you point over a loot drop pretty difficult to read. The inventory screen does not re-size but stays the same as single player mode. So that means you have to scroll back and forth to see both sides of the screen. It’s annoying but after a while you get used to it.

Another frustration is the lack of any real cover. Okay so this isn’t really a flaw but it does take some getting used to after playing Gears of War. Chest high walls aren’t as effective in this game. If there’s even a slight hole you can bet your ass that you’re going to get shot through it. It adds to the realism so I take it back, this isn’t a flaw. It’s just friggen inconvenient at times.

So in conclusion: I recommend this game if you are a fan of rugged Thunderdome type FPS’s. The loot drops add an awesome layer of greedy glee and perfecting face shots is almost euphoric. The game play is smooth though some of the loading times can be a pain. Throw in the gritty feel of the graphics and this game turns into a well rounded bad ass package.

That’s my two cents and let me leave you with these last words and the preview.

“Oh, there ain’t no rest for the wicked,
Money don’t grow on trees.
I got bills to pay,
I got mouths to feed,
There ain’t nothing in this world for free.
I know I can’t slow down,
I can’t hold back,
Though you know, I wish I could.
No there ain’t no rest for the wicked,
Until we close our eyes for good”

This past Friday was one of my friends last days of work. We work together and the department had decided to throw a potluck for her. With my Florida Mum and Amelia in tow, I left the house and made it the short drive to Lithia headquarters. We went in, chatted up my coworkers and friends that missed seeing me, introduced my F. Mum, partook of the food and of course wished Carly well on her last day at Lithia. She’ll be starting as a paralegal on Monday.

Everything was pretty mellow and a lot of oh’s and ah’s went around the room for Amelia. Her big smile just about melts anyone’s heart. No joke. We are constantly getting stopped on the street or in stores so people can talk to her and comment on how awesome she is, big ego booster for sure. Yeah, that’s my kid, friggen adorable ain’t she? But I digress.

While I left my F. Mum to mingle with my coworkers, Carly’s boyfriend Ryan asked if we were doing anything that night. I had no plans set up and suddenly the thought of drunken Rock Band antics popped into my head. A party I suggested! With that simple phrase a wild fire was ignited. More so in the form of me running around all giddy like inviting our usual posse to come over. I hit up Jake and his finance Kay, they were in. I hit up my cube buddy Venom (no not his real name). I pestered the shit out of Michael for good reason. Every time I’ve had a party and invited him over, there’s always been some excuse as to why he couldn’t go. So why would I continue to ask him? Well, there was a time before that he would come to my parties. But money got tight and things at home got stressful. I can understand that. But I asked him none the less. Personally, I think the real reason he came was to continue talking to my F. Mum. I knew those two would get along.

So already I was getting a lot of excited yes’s. Which in turn excited me. I talked to Carly about possible games to play. She’d recently introduced me to Yahtzee so that was definitely on the docket plus we had our trusty Rock Band game as well as others for the Xbox. Everything was looking good.

After work F. Mum and I headed out to various stores to get the necessary supplies. Our first stop was of course the liquor store. We picked up Captain Morgan, Tequila Rose and Jose Quirvo. After that we stopped to pick up a blender and some strawberries for a homemade Margarita mix. We drove home and I added the extra bottles to my collection of alcohol which included Smirnoff Vodka, Triple Sec and a left over half bottle of rum. I had a pretty hefty stash and that didn’t include the alcohol that my guests would be bringing.

F. Mum set to work on the Margarita mix and Dustin and I cleaned up the house a bit. Amelia was doing a good job of letting us do our thing. All was set for a good ole time. It wasn’t long before my peeps started to arrive. Carly, Ryan, Jake, and Kay made it first. It was time to break out the Yahtzee!

I swear to the Powers that Be, that in between getting us shots and mixing kick ass Kamakazi drinks, Ryan managed to pull off not one, not two, not three, but FOUR Yahtzees! This man was insane! The whole room was in an uproar and with that we said screw the game there’s no way we’re winning after all that craziness. And by that time most of us barring the designated drivers and babysitter aka Carly, Jake and Dustin were three sheets to the wind. So in our drunken state there had to be another game to play. It gets a little fuzzy here but I’m assuming Dustin put in Rock Band. I can’t be sure but I do know the room was suddenly filled with music and the rocking out commenced.

In mid rock out mode there came a knock on the door and I jubilantly cried out, “MICHAEL’S HERE!!!” And then in walked Venom. Promptly I apologized and renditioned him with a “VENOM!!” But alas the hurt was done. He stayed though and partook of the now roaring drunk singers and players. It wasn’t long after that, that Michael and his wife Sandy showed up. My guest list was complete!

By now my F. Mum was already long gone. A lonely Tequila Rose bottle stood empty on the counter and the Jose was desperately trying to defend it’s last quarter bottle of life. Immediately she and Sandy were outside smoking and talking about anything and everything while Michael rocked out on the microphone. I took a break from all the action and decided to hop outside and see how everyone was doing out there. I don’t remember the conversation, but I do remember my F. Mum casually pouring her drink down my shirt. Whoops! She stated with a smirk. Back in the house I went.

Things tend to get a bit more blurry after that. I remember obnoxiously singing Welcome Home even though I wasn’t on the mic. And then some Timmy song when it was my turn. I didn’t know it but ended up cracking everyone up by singing the Timmy part like Timmah from South Park. Even Rock Band thought I did good.

I vaguely recall dancing with Kay and her stating that Jake was her pole. Interesting looks were exchanged there I can assure you. Then as all things must it was time to wind down. Venom left to meet some buddies at a bar. Sandy and Michael took off shortly after though not without a very drunk Michael playing ninja and hiding out in my front yard. To see his drunken butt scurry from the shrubbery to the street and dart past their car was hilarious. Sandy had to reel him in. Carly and Ryan took off followed lastly by Jake and Kay.

It was 3am.

Now I have to thank my honey Dustin for being the responsible one and taking care of Amelia the whole time. As I learned the next day she was pretty good. Only cried once when she was woken up by our particularly loud singing. But after she came out with Dustin and met everyone my awesome daughter promptly passed out with her Daddy. After about an hour nap Dustin came out and played some hardcore guitar chords for us on Rock Band. So I’m glad he got to get some fun in as well.

My thanks also goes out to Kay for bringing me a birthday cake and a pretty cool necklace of the moon phases. Sandy also brought me a present. I got a journal hand made out of recycled paper by Sandy herself.

So thank you everyone that came out and I look forward to this weekends up-coming post birthday Halloween party!

Here’s a few pics of that night.