We feared in our hearts long before our minds could comprehend. Our genetic ingenuity had created something born of fantasy and nightmarish tales told around a campfire. Never in a million years would we have dreamed our advances in technology would give us…zombies. But it didn’t end there. The Agent Z epidemic spread as such horrific tragedies are wont to do. It left in its wake chaos, destruction, and abnormalities. Some of us were immune to the infection, but not in the way we had hoped. But before we could realize the full extent of our transformation something even more terrifying happened. The zombies became sentient.

At first those of us that were immune tried to mount a defense against the zombie horde. We soon discovered that they moved as one unit, focused on a single goal and threw themselves at it until whatever barricades or traps we set were buried under the sheer weight of numbers. With horror we watched as a detachment of 5,000 zombies threw themselves on top of the strategically placed bombs we had set around our fortress. It was then that we knew we had to run. We had to scatter. These zombies knew things you see, things that we didn’t even realize ourselves. 4 months after they became sentient we heard rumors that the zombies had learned how to poison the water. It was how D.C. fell. Mass panic broke out again. Any bottled water that hadn’t been scavenged before was like gold now. 8 months later the supply ran out. No more Aquafina, Desani, or Rocky Mountain. It was all gone.

Sure we could have found fresh sources of water not yet tainted by the Z’s. But that meant venturing outside and braving the horde. No one wanted that.

We figured the end was here. Zombies at our front door and death from dehydration and hunger at our backs. But we were immune you see and having that immunity did things to our bodies. Sensing imminent death we adapted. Some of us developed a thirst for things other than water. What was around us was more than plentiful. Blood. Still the change was different for many. Men that could turn into half beasts began to stalk the night, they could eat anything human, zombie, animal, it didn’t matter. It was survival. As more of us fled from our own people we became remote and isolated. We figured we could outrun the monsters. But even then the change found us. Rumors on the wind whispered of the old nightmares thought only of fantasy. We had thought zombies were fantasy too. But we were wrong. Now the world lay home to banshees, were-creatures, vampires, witches, and so much more.

And now I am one of them. In all this the zombies were a constant threat. As the few remaining pockets of humans were converted into the zombie legion they began to turn their eyes on us, the Immune. We began to go missing. For what or why no one knows. But with the change running wild in our veins, we are ready. I am ready. Come for me and be warned, my teeth are sharp and my tongue sharper, but nothing and I mean nothing is more dangerous than a genetic structure that refuses to die.

We arrived at the Gardens and waited patiently at the counter where we were handed a lamented sheet describing the rules while the lady tended to someone on the phone. They were fairly straight forward. No sexual acts or overtones while in the tubs. No loud voices, people were there to meditate and relax after all and other such fun regulations. Once we had the lady’s full attention we were checked in, handed towels, wraps, flip flops, and given a guided tour of the facilities.

The only other spa like place I had been to was the Jackson Hot Springs and while they are ok with their own swimming pool, the Gardens tended to be a step above. The atmosphere when you enter the “portal to tranquility” makes you feel like you are there to relax. Leave your cares at the door because beyond this point it’s all about you. Even the walls where painted with serene trees and a pastel skyline. Our guide pointed out various things as we made our way to the changing area. Below the pastel tree wall was a small pond, not for dipping in, and a cold water plunge for just in case you get too hot in the springs. Next to this was a sealed off section containing a private bath garden. Now keep in mind that as we’re walking through this area we are exposed to the gorgeous blue sky above us. I can only imagine how beautiful the private bath would be for two with the stars twinkling above.

Onward we went around the corner to the actual public bath garden. It was a wonderfully curved pool complete with a stone waterfall at it’s base. It even had jets you could turn on to work out those particular stubborn muscles in your back. We were both excited now. Next to the pool was a large room for the sauna and a small table containing essential life giving water. Even though it’s a simple concept, the act of providing free water to those that are about to be dehydrated by an hour and half of glorious heat treatments, was very endearing. Sometimes the little things go a long way to making your experience extra special. We were then introduced to the changing/shower rooms.

Fairly simple, the shower rooms provided three areas from which to rinse off and also housed the steam room. Now before this time I had always assumed a steam room and a sauna were the same thing. Nope, I was wrong. A steam room actually uses steam to heat up the room and cause you to sweat like you were caught in a torrential down pour. Whereas the sauna does a similar effect just with plain old temperature. Least that’s what my experiences taught me at the Gardens.

So all prepared we were and after rinsing off we attempted the steam room first. After about 30 seconds, we couldn’t see each other even though we were roughly 5 feet apart. I’d like to say we could stand it for about 5 minutes. Reality would probably tell us we only survived 2 minutes. Either way, we had our fill and I swear my lungs were swimming with fluid. So quickly and with giggles we fled the steam and headed out to the main attraction. Armed with our wraps we descended the steps into the hot springs and I was surprised to learn that it wasn’t actually that hot. It was a decent temperature. The more I sat in the water, however, the hotter it became. That was all well and good for me as I love the heat.

We had positioned ourselves on a slight ledge in the hot spring where the jets were placed. And by jove did they work. Moving slightly we were able to position our backs and massage away any aches and pains in our muscles. Combined with the heat it was pure bliss. But it wasn’t just the heat that made everything so tranquil. It was the fact that we could stare up at the clear blue sky and feel the gentle breeze graze across our faces.

I’d have to say it was just one of those perfect days. Everything fell into place, the world seemed a bit brighter, and we both had satisfying conversations on how content we were with our lives. It’s rare those instances where you find yourself counting your blessings instead of bitching about the annoying things in life.

We sat in the pool for what seemed like forever chatting about various topics; all the while feeling the stress and grime of the past week fall from our bodies and minds. But as with all things our curiosity got the better of us and so we decided to check out the sauna. We made a pitstop at the water table and I made sure to drink a couple of cups of water before entering. Inside it was dark and hot…very hot. We climbed up on one of the back ledges and sat there with a couple of other ladies. Half naked ladies awwww yeah. I forgot to mention that this place is also clothing optional. Bathing suits need not apply. =p

But anyway, about 2 minutes into our foray into the sauna I begin to notice something strange. And to confirm this strangeness I took a deep breath through my nose…biggest mistake ever! The sensation that I had been experiencing was a burning on my upper lip which was only exemplified when I drew in a deep breath, however, the burning then traveled up my nose instead. Ouch! So I turn to Carly and inform her that if you take a deep breath you’ll burn your nostrils. What does she do? Yup! lol Confirmation on two fronts! It was hard not to giggle about it. Eventually, we could take it no more and exited the sauna. The water table was again a most precious resource.

We got back into the hot springs which had gained a few extra people. These ladies were older and completely naked as well. Now, don’t get me wrong I’ve got nothing against anyone being naked. And one can’t help but glance at the same things even though we have them too. Yes, I’m saying I glanced at their boobs. I couldn’t help it! One of the ladies had a really nice pair and for being as old as her face looked it was quite remarkable how well they held up. I was actually wondering if they were real or not. But either way, the ladies were enjoying the pool just the same as the rest of us, even if they did float by us several times doing the back stroke O.O.

We wrapped up the day with another jaunt in the steam room this time lasting much less than the first time. We showered and rinsed off with the lemon salt scrubs the tour lady had given us and left for the day. But even as we left I felt so incredibly relaxed and content. I had even managed to get some chakra work done while in the pool. The energy was just amazing. I definitely look forward to returning to the Chozu Gardens soon and Carly and I even talked about making it a girl’s night out event. Certainly would be a wonderful time.

So if you are in the area and need a good quiet soak centralizing on peace and relaxation, check out the Chozu Gardens in Ashland, OR. It’s definitely worth the measly $25 for 90 minutes of bliss.

First we check out the windows and doors. While I do enjoy large glass doors I understand that they don’t hold up well against rampaging zombies. So in order to still get the doors I want I need to think about reinforcing them with steel bars. If they are built in the shape of vines, however, we can still pull off the fancy/pretty look without sacrificing defense. Check out Exhibit A as an example:

Now that I think, is a good zombie door. Sure they could still smash the glass but in doing so they’d get their arms caught in the design. Then BAM! A chainsaw will take care of those waving limbs. Kinda hard for a zombie to eat your brains with no hands. So at least I know with a door like this we’d have the entrance covered.

Next on our fortification list is the number of stories the house has. I’d prefer a house with at least two stories. Stairs can provide a natural funnel effect great for limiting the number of zombies rushing at you at any given point. If there’s a balcony overlooking the main hall even better! High points are excellent sources of attack. Just think of all the things you could rain down on unsuspecting zombie heads!

Finally, location location location! Ideally, I’d like to have the house at the top of a hill surrounded by a gated wall. Once again having the high ground provides natural benefits. If it’s on a cliff even better! This will help safeguard against multiple attack points. You’ll be highly screwed if the zombie attack you’re in comes with rock climbing zombies though, so let’s hope we don’t get those kind.

You never know just when a zombie apocalypse will strike. So remember, the next time you’re out looking for houses, keep these defensive thoughts in mind.

A random Lawn Gnome has appeared!

Quickly! The person to leave me the best caption comment for this photo gets a batch of my delicious Herbie Sausage Rolls.

Good Luck!

We’ll take this one step at a time. First up pork chops.

Pork Chops

Ingredients:
2 Thick Cut Porks Chops
Olive Oil
Pepper
Sazon Seasoning (1 packet)
Garlic Seasoning
Adobo Seasoning

Take the pork chops and cut off the fat. Be sure to have the pork chops on a chopping board or plate as the sazon can sometimes stain things. Then proceed to rub the sazon, garlic, adobo, and pepper into first one side of the pork chops and then the other. You should get a nice red color from the sazon. In a pan, add the olive oil and heat to a simmer. Next, place the nicely seasoned pork chops into the oil CAREFULLY! It should take about 20 minutes, flipping occasionally to let the seasoning cook into both sides of the chop.

Now take some broccoli and place it in a metal strainer. Set up a pot half filled with water and heat til boiling. Place the strainer over the water and let it steam cook. Placing a sauce pan lid over the broccoli helps to speed up the process.

While that’s cooking, lets get the cheese sauce together. This recipe is delicious and quick to make. I found the recipe on about.com by Diana Rattray, so please give props to the original posted here.

Cheese Sauce

Ingredients:
3 tablespoons butter
3 tablespoons flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon ground black or white pepper
1 1/2 cups milk
1 cup grated sharp Cheddar or smoky flavor Cheddar cheese

First we’re going to melt the butter; then remove from heat. Stir in the flour, salt, and pepper. Gradually add in the milk, stirring until it’s well mixed. Make sure you stir the mixture constantly over low heat until it’s nicely thickened and smooth. Then cook it for an additional 5 minutes. Add in the grated cheese and stir until smooth and well blended. Viola! We have awesome cheese sauce to go along with our steamed broccoli and gorgeous pork chops!

Enjoy!

As of the 20th our little one is now 6 months old. Throughout these few months she’s undergone some tremendous changes. First up on the list is her vocabulary. At first it was strewn with random “mmm’s” which then moved on to “mom’s” much to my smug delight. But it was like a waterfall had been unleashed. Soon we were barraged with strange pterodactyl like screeches, bababa’s and just recently the dada’s. She’s pretty much gone through a good chunk of the alphabet and I’m sure that was helped by our daily singing of the ABC’s to her. Now with the onslaught of words has come a few responses. Or at least we assume that’s what they are. There have been a couple of instances where I’ve asked Amelia to say hi to someone either on the phone or in person and have actually gotten something that sounded remarkably like a “hi”. Even just tonight while Dustin was given her a bath I heard him say something about her duck and quite distinctly heard a “duck” back from Amelia. It’s friggen awesome! I’m pretty giddy at the thought of being able to communicate with her soon, even though I know it’s still a ways off.

The next item on our update list is the emergence of two very white, very sharp teeth. After months of letting her chew on our fingers and hands it was instantly brought to a halt with the introduction of pain as she chomped merrily on flesh. I think not little girl! Boy am I glad I’m not breast feeding anymore. The mere thought makes my eyes widen with fear.

But of course, with the development of these two bottom lurkers comes the cranky times. She’s been pretty amazing with dealing with it, but when no amount of food, sleep, or chomping toys can albeit her crankiness we pull out the Tylenol. I’m not really a big fan of pulling out the drugs to deal with things, but if we’ve tried all other methods and she’s still not getting any relief and I know I have a remedy just sitting in the reserves, damn straight I’m gonna use it. Once she’s had a dose everything goes back to normal.

So now that we have teeth of course we need to introduce food! This I am really excited about. Milk’s all well and good, but there’s a world of culinary delights out there just waiting for eager taste buds to try. And I want to present as many as I can to her. Her first food was a baby carrot. It was not mushed up but just straight from the packet. Our reasoning? Clearly it helps with her gums and teething. From there I moved on to mushed carrots in a store bought jar. With her first spoon full she quickly thrust it out with her tongue and made the sourest of expressions. I laughed and thought oh how cute! Until I tried the mixture myself… YUCK!

After having sweet baby carrots and then trying this muck I could understand why she thrust it out of her mouth so quickly. It was then that I decided to make my own baby food for her. I got some carrots and used my nice new blender and attempted to mush it up. Large chunks whizzed around the glass, clearly not the mushy texture I was hoping for. You’d think that making your own food wouldn’t be that bad, but alas I had no real experience with making smoothie type stuff. I eventually figured it out with adding some water. The blender whizzed happily to life and then I had the orangey mush I had hoped for. Except the taste was very watered down much like the store bought variety. I had a plan! Sugar! I added a small amount and brought it back up to a carroty taste.

Round 2 with the carrots. My homemade concoction worked better. She still pulled faces and got most of it on her face, hands and bib, but she did eat it as well. From here we’ve tried peas though not as successful yet and applesauce. The applesauce is store bought, but it’s a lot better than the carrots. We just had that today and managed to devour half the jar. She’s still a bit rusty with the swallowing, though I know that will come in time and with a lot more practice. It’s still pretty impressive to me.

Lastly, we have movement. This girl can move like there’s no tomorrow. Take your eyes off her for a second and she’s half way across the room. She still hasn’t quite got the concept of crawling, but that doesn’t stop her in the least. She’s moved on from her caterpillar crawl and has learned to prop herself up on both hands and knees. She’s almost got the mechanism down for moving one knee then a hand then the other knee. What usually happens though is that she’ll elevate off her knees and try to move forward with her feet. It works fairly well too. Currently, we have to watch her as she’s trying to pull herself up on everything and walk. That would be our fault too. For a while now, our munchkin has been wanting to stand so we’ve put her on the ground and supported her with nothing but our fingers for balance. Amelia’s learned how to mimic us and put one foot in front of the other and walk. So much so that when she’s excited she’ll run to whomever she wants to see, giving the person supporting her a nice little burst of hunched over walking.

So that’s what’s been going on in baby world in a nutshell. Enjoy the little photo album of cuteness.

Another great product from Cincopa Send Files. Also read about Cincopa best wordpress plugins for your website.

Til next week!

It was dark much like a club would be and lit by a foreign ambiance, also very club like. With the promise of burning calories to some awesome dance moves, we quickly shed our purple attire and got dressed in our Zumba outfits. Julie’s was far more appropriate than my very loose shirt and pants, but as I’m the fat one and she the skinny one, I felt no shame in my choice. I was after all there to shed the weight anyhow. We stepped back into the room and it was already going. A woman stood up front on a raised platform and the Latin beats blared out across the room.

The room itself was pretty full and finding a suitable place to gyrate took a minute of adjusting, especially when the arms began to flail about. But soon we were frantically trying to mimic the movements of the lady in front of us. It was clear right from the start that this was not the beginners class or at least most of these people were pretty quick to catch on. There was no audible lead, it was merely monkey see, monkey do. And while that’s all well and good, it took me more than a few tries to get some of the moves down. Luckily, there was a lot of repeating so if the first 2 or 3 times didn’t click the 7th one would.

Before I knew it, I was tired. My legs were bitching at me in the most sordid of ways, exclaiming that they thought they’d been retired. And the rude awakening of jumping around without stretching was a breech of contract. Never the less, I huffed and puffed on. Was I having fun? Hell yeah I was! So while I was sweating up a storm and quickly tiring my rarely used muscles out, I was still enjoying myself. That was the point after all. Get a good work out without the bore of actual exercising.

After about 30 minutes I was dying, so I ducked out of the room and to the most beautiful thing in the world: a water fountain. Slurping up the delicious wetness, I remembered that I hated the taste of water. So back in the room I went. Song after song went by with Latin dance moves, tribal dance moves, semi street moves! It was awesome! Until I saw my jiggly dancing butt in the mirror. I’ve always despised that about gyms. Sure when I’m beautiful I’ll enjoy it, but not when I’ve got belly fat flopping all over the place. Luckily, there were people in front of me and a simple half step slide cured me of that for the rest of the class.

I wish I could tell you in depth what moves or dances we did, but I can’t. I don’t know the names of them and I can vaguely recall some if you’d like me to jiggle it out for you. Honestly, if you’re really intrigued I recommend you go try it out. It is fun for those of you that would like to work out in a dance club type setting. The moves weren’t too hard, but it was the pace and the constancy that made me sweat and then later on hurt. But, it was nothing a nice hot shower couldn’t cure. So Zumba, you I like. I’ll be jiggling and wiggling again this Friday.

The first booth we ran across was of course the gym one. Get yourself into shape so you don’t look like a fat ass at your wedding! Yeah, I gotta agree with that. After packing on the pounds it was definitely something of interest to me, but not something I wanted to dive right into and investigate. I mean I was there for the wedding stuff after all! So we by pass the fitness guru’s and dive headfirst into the frenzy. What are we greeted with first? Why cake of course! There were little slices of every cake to choose from, but we held out. There was still so much to see and the runway show had already started.

We crowded around to the edge of the stage and watched in hopeful fascination of the dresses. But alas, neither of us were too impressed. There were flamboyant dresses which resembled albino peacocks to short Sunday dresses for the more casual or boring. Nothing even remotely had a splash of color beyond a different shade of white. Bleh! So the wedding dresses were a bust but there were a couple of bridesmaid dresses that weren’t too bad. Either way we stopped watching about half way through and started to check out the booths around us.

We had a couple of photo booths, David’s Bridal, Avon, and a sound system booth right by us. We headed out of that aisle after signing up for a chance to win some free stuff and looped around to the middle aisle. Here there was another photo/video booth, make up booth, and an insurance booth. We stopped here as a we were now directly in front of the runway, and decided to watch the last of the show. Still nothing of worthwhile mentioning presented itself and Carly and I both were disappointed in the lack of styles for our personal tastes.

Then the announcer introduced the girls from the Women’s Fitness Company. They were going to demonstrate Zumba to us. The music cranked up to a hip hop latin beat and the girls wasted no time jumping into the thick of it. I was enthralled. It was a cross between a hip hop dance video and a street dance. I liked it. Carly frowned at the popping ladies clearly unimpressed and stated that only people that liked Dancing with the Stars or those dance movies would like this. I of course grinned at her and let her know I liked those things and I did enjoy this Zumba routine I was baring witness too. After the demonstration ended we wandered around the last aisle of booths. Still nothing spectacular. We did see a few unique cake toppers though, but everything else was far too girly for our tastes.

So with our bag full of flyers and business cards we slipped out of the ballroom and I made a bee line for the WFC booth. Zumba had definitely caught my attention and I wanted to get as much information on it as I possibly could. While there we also signed up for a drawing for a free year membership with spa/massage benefits. Hey you never know right? While I didn’t sign up right then and there I do have a date with a Zumba class this Friday with them. I’m looking forward to it.

Having been disappointed with the not so impressive wedding expo Carly and I decided to head over to a shop in Phoenix that has Alfred Angelo dresses. Both of us have our sights set on that particular makers style. But before we entered, Carly had a tale of caution for me. The online reviews for this place stated that the owner was a complete bitch. A very bossy, her way, rude type of lady. So armed with that knowledge we braved the ice waters of the bridal store.

This shop was overflowing with bridal gowns. From every style to designer, this lady had it stacked! I was impressed with the sheer amount of wedding gowns that overflowed from the racks. You couldn’t move around without pushing aside a gown of some sort. We had hope of finding our dresses here and so we dove in to begin our search. About half way through out pops this elderly lady in a bright red jacket. She looked harmless enough, that was until she opened her mouth. She asked us if she could show us anything and we explained that we were just looking and that our wedding dates were still a bit out there. This lady’s response? Well I’ll tell you right now, your just wasting your time. Whoa! Seriously? Did I just hear this old codger right? Yes I did. Clearly she didn’t want us in her shop unless we were ready to buy, as getting an idea for your dress is not the way to go. We were probably wasting her time, oh the nerve of us brides.

Obviously, I was put off but Carly decided to hear her out and we did end up getting a nice tour of the store and where to find gowns of certain material. So the old bitty did do something nice there. We looked around and then low and behold stumbled across Carly’s dream dress. It was the one she’d seen online and the instant she saw it in person she knew it was the one for her. I tried to convince her to try it on, but to no avail and I can’t blame her in that store. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to find the dress I’d picked out online but that didn’t matter. We’d at least found one of them. The old lady came up and commented on what a beautiful dress it was and here I had began to hold out some hope that maybe she wasn’t so bad after all.

She then asked me when my wedding date was and I explained that I was going to wait a couple years so that our 5 month old daughter could participate. “Oh you don’t want to wait that long.” She replied. I protested that I was going to be with the man for the rest of my life so a few years wasn’t anything to worry about. It was then that the old lady disappeared and the wicked witch of the west returned. Out from her mouth spewed forth words that I could only guess were fueled from past failed marriages.”That’s only if the marriage vows hold up.” Ok, you work in a bridal shop, where hopeful women come to you for the ultimate dress. And this is the attitude you have? Clearly you don’t want our business. We left shortly after.

Now, I don’t care that she’s the most stocked bridal shop in Southern Oregon, with treatment like that I’m not going to be buying jack shit from her. Plus with all the negative comments on her site I’m wondering how in the world she stays in business. If anyone opens up a shop in competition and is welcoming and more relaxed they’d make a killing and run that old bag of pretentious crap right out of the valley. I wonder if it’s the fact that she’s the biggest store around Medford that made her that way or if that’s just how she is? Hmmm. Either way, if your to the point of getting fed up with brides then get the hell out of the business and hand it over to those cheerful bubbly sort. Don’t piss off the customers that actually have the cash to buy the expensive dresses from you just because you think you know what’s best.

That’s my piece for tonight. Ranting is done and I’m looking forward to some ZUMBA!

DieDie's Engagement Ring

My New Year’s Eve was slightly different from previous years. I did have it in my mind to describe the awesome party, the toasts, or whatever random acts our friends got in to. Instead I ended up experiencing one of those once in a lifetime events that made the whole world shine just that much brighter.

On New Year’s Eve, we had Amelia dropped off at our friends house so we could have a couple of hours to ourselves. Our plans were to have dinner and then to head back to get Amelia. Dustin had also just gotten a package in the mail which was my final Christmas present so I would receive it at dinner. After we had dropped Amelia off we went on our way and Dustin said he needed to make a stop first. While driving he handed me a book to read as the first part of my present. It was a custom made book he had created of our memories together throughout the last year. I started to tear up the moment I began reading it.

I read through almost half the book when we arrived at our location. It wasn’t the sushi restaurant though, it was a spot on the mountain behind our house that overlooks the city. It looked amazing at night with all the twinkling lights. Dustin paused my reading and said he wanted to give me a hug. So we hopped out of the car and hugged each other. I had completely forgotten that he’d said this was the “first” part of my present. He took the book from me and flipped to the last page to read aloud a speech written on it. Dropping to one knee and pulling out the ring, this is what he said:

“The event that will go down in our life on this day is when I got down on one knee to spill my heart to you. I couldn’t help but fall in love with you when I finish my speech I asked if you would honor me and become my wife. Diane will you marry me?”

With tears in my eyes I said yes, I will.

It was truly a perfect moment in my life. I dare say The perfect moment. So I welcomed 2010 in with teary eyes, the love of my life, and a huge rock on my finger. 2010, you friggen rock!